A nurse I met in an obstetrician’s office told me she could always determine the sex of a baby from the ultra sound images. She said if you saw a fetus with both hands floating in the air it was a girl. But if you saw only one hand it was a boy. “Why’s that?” I asked. She explained that boys almost always had one hand visible and one hidden because the other hand was holding or touching their microscopic penises.
“You’re kidding,” I responded with a laugh. She said, “Honey, they discover that thing in utero and from then on it’s the most important thing in their lives.”
I recalled the incident with the nurse after reading about the recent spate of stories about men behaving badly. What were they thinking? Clearly they didn’t use their heads. They used something, perhaps more potent than their brains.
For 10 days “Weinergate” dominated the news causing New York Congressman Anthony Weiner to hold a press conference and come clean. He admitted that he did send lewd pictures of himself to women and that he lied about it to his wife, constituents, colleagues and friends. He took responsibility and apologized and yahda, yahda, yahda. But he refused to resign his congressional seat. What was he thinking? He wasn’t. Weiner, who dreamed of being the mayor of New York City some day, may not survive this scandal.
Former presidential candidate John Edwards was indicted for taking a million dollars in campaign funds to cover up his affair with a campaign worker who later had their baby—all this while his wife, Elizabeth, was dying of cancer. What was he thinking? He wasn’t.
How could former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger—in the house he shared with his wife, Maria Shriver—carry on an affair with a housekeeper for ten years and father her child? What was he thinking? He wasn’t.
These sex scandals are not confined to American men. Mais oui, the head of the IMF, Frenchman Dominique Strauss-Kahn, allegedly tried to rape a maid in a New York hotel, forced her to perform oral sex, then chased her down a hotel corridor after she fought to get away. What, Strauss-Kahn, were you thinking? That you could get away with your disgusting actions?
An Egyptian businessman, Mahmoud Omar, was arrested for allegedly sexually assaulting another New York hotel worker. Why would he attempt that? Hotel maids have come forward to attest to the problems they face from male guests every day while simply trying to do their jobs.
These latter men are over 60 years old. Viagra and Extenze have only made things worse, that is, for women.
We learned about narcissistic men like Weiner, who take racy photos of themselves and send them to women. Football star Bret Favre actually sent pictures of his naked genitals to a woman. Yecchhh! Does he think women really want to see his “junk”? A big turn on. Not.
Rep. Chris Lee, of upstate New York, resigned his congressional seat after a shirtless photo surfaced that he sent to a woman he met on Craigslist.
These are the latest in a long string of powerful, intelligent men who destroyed their careers, their families, and their dreams. And Lord only knows, how many ordinary men of ordinary means and intelligence, are carrying on like crazed rabbits. Millions and millions, I would guess based on divorce and Justice Department sex crime statistics.
I keep asking in this piece what made the men do what they did or allegedly did. The answer? Their “things.” The male organ is every bit a drug as heroin, cocaine or meth. It overwhelms judgment, responsibility, maturity, self-control and common sense. Worse, it messes up the lives of a helluva lot of women and children.
Remember male fetuses had their teeny hands on their teeny penises while still in the womb, and throughout their lives men are touching themselves many hours of the day. Is it nature or just naughty? Last year, a study reported in the London Telegraph found that 3000 men surveyed in the U.K., think about sexual intercourse 13 times a day, almost 5000 times a year. Many of them admitted it was the first thing they thought of when they woke up in the morning. A similar survey of women showed they think about sex four times less often.
Are we to conclude that men, like Anthony Weiner, just couldn’t help it? Absolutely not. They need to take control of their urges or risk losing everything. Nobody likes Nasty Boys.