Jun 7, 2011 | Bad Behavior, Men |
A nurse I met in an obstetrician’s office told me she could always determine the sex of a baby from the ultra sound images. She said if you saw a fetus with both hands floating in the air it was a girl. But if you saw only one hand it was a boy. “Why’s that?” I asked. She explained that boys almost always had one hand visible and one hidden because the other hand was holding or touching their microscopic penises.
“You’re kidding,” I responded with a laugh. She said, “Honey, they discover that thing in utero and from then on it’s the most important thing in their lives.”
I recalled the incident with the nurse after reading about the recent spate of stories about men behaving badly. What were they thinking? Clearly they didn’t use their heads. They used something, perhaps more potent than their brains.
For 10 days “Weinergate” dominated the news causing New York Congressman Anthony Weiner to hold a press conference and come clean. He admitted that he did send lewd pictures of himself to women and that he lied about it to his wife, constituents, colleagues and friends. He took responsibility and apologized and yahda, yahda, yahda. But he refused to resign his congressional seat. What was he thinking? He wasn’t. Weiner, who dreamed of being the mayor of New York City some day, may not survive this scandal.
Former presidential candidate John Edwards was indicted for taking a million dollars in campaign funds to cover up his affair with a campaign worker who later had their baby—all this while his wife, Elizabeth, was dying of cancer. What was he thinking? He wasn’t.
How could former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger—in the house he shared with his wife, Maria Shriver—carry on an affair with a housekeeper for ten years and father her child? What was he thinking? He wasn’t.
These sex scandals are not confined to American men. Mais oui, the head of the IMF, Frenchman Dominique Strauss-Kahn, allegedly tried to rape a maid in a New York hotel, forced her to perform oral sex, then chased her down a hotel corridor after she fought to get away. What, Strauss-Kahn, were you thinking? That you could get away with your disgusting actions?
An Egyptian businessman, Mahmoud Omar, was arrested for allegedly sexually assaulting another New York hotel worker. Why would he attempt that? Hotel maids have come forward to attest to the problems they face from male guests every day while simply trying to do their jobs.
These latter men are over 60 years old. Viagra and Extenze have only made things worse, that is, for women.
We learned about narcissistic men like Weiner, who take racy photos of themselves and send them to women. Football star Bret Favre actually sent pictures of his naked genitals to a woman. Yecchhh! ?Does he think women really want to see his “junk”? A big turn on. Not.
Rep. Chris Lee, of upstate New York, resigned his congressional seat after a shirtless photo surfaced that he sent to a woman he met on Craigslist.
These are the latest in a long string of powerful, intelligent men who destroyed their careers, their families, and their dreams. And Lord only knows, how many ordinary men of ordinary means and intelligence, are carrying on like crazed rabbits. Millions and millions, I would guess based on divorce and Justice Department sex crime statistics.
I keep asking in this piece what made the men do what they did or allegedly did. The answer? Their “things.” The male organ is every bit a drug as heroin, cocaine or meth. It overwhelms judgment, responsibility, maturity, self-control and common sense. Worse, it messes up the lives of a helluva lot of women and children.
Remember male fetuses had their teeny hands on their teeny penises while still in the womb, and throughout their lives men are touching themselves many hours of the day. Is it nature or just naughty? Last year, a study reported in the London Telegraph found that 3000 men surveyed in the U.K., think about sexual intercourse 13 times a day, almost 5000 times a year. Many of them admitted it was the first thing they thought of when they woke up in the morning. A similar survey of women showed they think about sex four times less often.
Are we to conclude that men, like Anthony Weiner, just couldn’t help it? Absolutely not. They need to take control of their urges or risk losing everything. Nobody likes Nasty Boys.
Dec 2, 2010 | Bad Behavior, Men, Politics |
Please tell me how Tom Delay, Rod Blagojevich and Eliot Spitzer have been able to achieve “star” or “celebrity” status. They broke laws, disgraced their public offices — and two of them may serve jail time.
The former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, so feared in Congress that he was called “The Hammer,” was recently convicted of laundering money to influence Texas elections. The Republican politician faces a sentence, which could put him behind bars for decades. Yet, while under indictment, he was chosen to be a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars.” What? Who thought that was a good idea? He couldn’t dance; he was not what most people would consider a “star;” and he was facing prison for a serious crime.
Well, poor old Tom didn’t last on the show. He developed stress fractures in both feet and couldn’t dance anymore. Now he’s a convicted felon, appealing the guilty verdict.
Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was booted from office by the State Legislature after the federal government charged him with corruption, trying to sell President Obama’s open US Senate seat for personal financial gain, and lying to FBI agents — 23 counts in all — of official wrongdoing. They had tapes of him engaged in illegal activities. Mr. Blagojevich was arrested and got out on bail. While awaiting trial he popped up on talk shows across the TV spectrum. Even the ladies of “The View” couldn’t resist tousling his helmet of dark brown hair. Because of some conflict, he couldn’t be on the so-called reality show called, “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here.” So his wife, Patti, took his place and finished fourth in the competition.
Next thing you know, Blagojevich is on Donald Trump’s “Celebrity Apprentice.” Who deemed him a celebrity? Trump fired him midway through the show’s season for not contributing much to his team, but “The Donald” said he still likes “Blago.”
Last August, the ex-governor was found guilty on one count of lying to the FBI and faces re-trial next April on the 23 remaining counts. But that didn’t stop Wonderful Pistachios from signing a deal with him. If you watched the World Series or “Law and Order SVU” you might have seen a commercial, which showed Blagojevich accepting a suspicious-looking briefcase. He opens it and pours out hundreds of pistachios, one of which he cracked and ate. The catch line? “He does it innocently.” Doesn’t make me want to buy Wonderful Pistachios.
Dallying with prostitutes, while a married man, can lead to your own prime-time talk show. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is now a TV star, co-hosting “Parker Spitzer” on CNN with Kathleen Parker, a Pulitzer Prize-winning conservative columnist.
The then 49-year-old Democratic governor was caught patronizing prostitutes. Investigators had irrefutable evidence that he contacted the Emperor Club VIP prostitution ring and made a “date” to meet at a Washington, DC, hotel, a 22-year-old petite brunette, called “Kristen.” After three hours of her services, he paid her $4300 in cash.
Investigators said that while he was New York Attorney General—the state’s highest law enforcement officer—and while governor, Spitzer spent as much as $80,000 on prostitutes.
When the New York legislature started to talk impeachment, a disgraced Spitzer resigned his vaunted post as Governor. After embarrassing his wife, his family, and his state, it was not long before he started showing up as a commentator on cable news shows. CNN then gave him his own show. Why, CNN?
Bristol Palin’s only claim to fame is being an unwed mother and the daughter of Sarah Palin. Yet, “Dancing with the Stars” had no qualms about calling her a “star” and making her a contestant. At one time, having a baby out of wedlock was not even discussed in “polite company.” Some called it immoral. And isn’t her Baby’s Daddy, Levi Johnston, thinking about running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a post his baby’s grandmother once held? He didn’t finish high school, but because he’s a “celebrity” now, he believes he’s qualified to run for public office.
I don’t know who’s to blame for making questionable characters marketable. The American people who want to watch them or the companies, which pay them hundreds of thousands of dollars to work for them.
They say the American people are a forgiving people. It would seem so. But I am reminded of the Army-McCarthy Hearings of 1954, chaired by rabid anti-Communist Senator Joseph McCarthy. During the hearings an attorney, Joseph Welch, asked the Senator these now famous words: “Have you no shame, sir. At long last, have you no shame?”
Too many people in America would have to answer, they do not.
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